While Missy’s in class, slacking off and day dreaming, she texts me this:

“Mud, there’s this hot guy sitting next to me. He looks Korean and he looks like a jerk. Perfect for you.”

She knows me so well! :D Jerks are awesome because they can put up w/ my evilness. <3

Comic Credit: poopiness

I met all my California friends 2 years ago for the first time after knowing them for years. When their parents asked how we meant, the answer was, “Camp!” Haha CBF answered with that, and surprisingly Sarah answered with that too, which was why I couldn’t stop laughing when she told her parents that. :D

The only one ever gone camping was Missy. I remember that week…I didn’t see her for a week and I was worrying sick. Calling, messaging, threats. A week later, she contacted me back and said, “I’m back from camp! ^__^” And I was like, “YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE LEAVING FOR CAMP!” It’s usually a guilt trip I remind Missy of, even though it’s been probably 4-5 years now. She usually tells me everything. That was probably why she thought she already told me she was heading out to camp for a week.

Anyway, back to the blabbing. The answer “Camp” was given because I think we were all pretty ashamed to let others know that we all met online. To think, after all these years we would finally admit the truth…but nope, we still don’t.

I just read a chat log of Missy and Lucee’s boyfriend. Apparently Lucee told him that she met Missy at camp. Missy detailed it some more saying it was wilderness camp. He said he couldn’t picture her doing anything like that. LOL Little does he know that he’s right!

I think CBF is trying really hard to go on a camping trip so that the “lie” could at least be partially true. That’s suppose to be a goal this summer, but I’m too worried that we could get attacked by mountain lions. Sounds crazy, but it’s possible! I think we should just camp in Lucee’s backyard. I remember her having a nice yard. LOL

“ถ้าหากมีความรัก ก็ย่อมมีความหวัง”
Tah hak mee kwan ruk, gor yom mee kwam wung.
As long as there is love, there will be hope.

My favorite quote from “Love of Siam.”

At 10:48 AM today, I checked my phone for any updates as I walked out of class and saw I had a miss call from my cousin. I called her back and she said she just out of surgery due to a miscarriage. I walked as soon as I could to the hospital as it was just down the street from my school.

My cousin was completely drained but in good condition. Her mom was there with her her. After my cousin rested, my Aunt talked to me about life, love, and marriage.

Her husband recently had told her he no longer loved her and her life crashed. She had placed in all her love, hopes, dreams, and her future into this man for over 22 years. In the end, it had meant nothing to him and she felt like a fool. She states she no longer will ever love anyone like that again.

I told her that she must think positively and that there is good in everything. This is a life lesson for her to prepare her for the future. She is still young and full of life. I told her to save only the good memories and let the hurtful memories go. The divorce papers has not been filed so she is still in the middle of this mess. Once it’s over, she’ll be able to organize her thoughts and move on with life.

She said her horoscope states she should marry a Tiger to have a great life. She married a Snake, which was her worst luck. She said she would never marry again nor will she love again. She warned me, never to marry or give someone everything you have because in the end, it would just hurt you.

Love does that and I’m not just talking about love between a man and a woman but the love that involves yourself, families, friends, coworkers, etc. When you’re someone with a big ego, you have to risk lowering it for love. You have to risk the chance of getting hurt. If you don’t open the door, how can love enter? If there’s no love, there’s no hope.

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And to think I would never open up and love anyone anymore, here comes this angel who came into my life as my niece. I love her so much and I think of her every moment of my day. I could never put my phone down, scrolling through her pictures over and over and replaying videos of her. I miss her when she’s not around and I would drive hours just to see her for a moment. I love kissing her sweet cheeks and I love her hugs. I love taking her outside to watch her smile and laugh in the sun. I’m hurt whenever she’s sick. I can’t sleep at night knowing she has a stuffy nose. I watch over her, afraid that she may not be able to breathe while sleeping.

I love her so much! She’s growing so fast. I’m going to be so sad when I have to leave for college far away. :( I wanted her first words to be “Auntie Muddie!” LOL

I’m writing this blog because she’s not here and I was just scrolling through her pictures, missing her dearly.