I don’t know if anything after this is going to change.
I’m not brave enough to promise anything.
Will the love we share go even further or will we have to say goodbye?
I don’t know, I’m not sure about anything.
At this moment, I can only tell you that I love you, I’ll give you all my heart.
The important thing is that we’re still together.
Everything else isn’t here yet.
I can only tell you this, I’ll love you with all my heart.
Make our love strong and stay in our hearts until the day we say goodbye.
The only thing that I know right now is that I have warmth in my heart.
The love we share is a beautiful thing.
Even if in the end the only things left are dreams or whatever is fine with me.
I’m going to make today the best I can with all my heart.
(The famous hug-and-stare-at-nothing-in-particular pose in which I could never get tried of.)
Since I was a kid, I’ve always watched Thai films and listened to Thai drama. There was this one lakorn (Thai Soap Dramas) video store that was my family’s favorite back in Rhode Island. Each week, there would be a new episode out and I always loved to tag along with my parents to pick up the video and rush back home to watch it.
I didn’t get introduced to their music (actual artists and just not the soundtracks of the films I’ve watch :D) until years later and it stuck with me since. Thank goodness I listened to the radio a lot too, or else I would have no clue what my friends were talking about when they spoke of Mariah Carey or Coolio.
When we moved to North Carolina, we were in the country and far away from a city. This broke our ties to the Thai entertainment. My sister kept in touch with many of her friends. One worked at a Thai lakorn store, and he would update us on the music, sending us various new albums that came out along with videos and concerts.
As I grew older, the music industry changed to catch up with the rest of the world. All my favorite artists were pushed aside because they didn’t meet the standards. With nothing entertaining coming out, I drifted into Korean entertainment.
For years, I avoided Korean music because all my friends turned away from Thai entertainment and dedicated their life to Korean pop idols. Their idols was just too wild. The dyed hair, the extra, extra baggy pants, the need for rap in every single song, etc. But one of my friend kept pushing me into it and I was hooked. I loved their dancing videos. Never seen anything like it. As for the films, I was instantly hooked on Korean drama series.
I didn’t leave Thailand completely though. I came running back to the Thai industry after 3-4 years with the Korean industry. I’ve come to realize that my heart’s with Thailand always. Although their music is changing to catch up with the trend like the rest of Asia, there are some artists who are able to keep a hold on people like me.
Thai music is so soothing and heart warming. My CD and Video collections is full of old Thai school music. Anything that comes out as a collection from the old days, I get it instantly. I’m kind of disappointed with a few artists who changed too much from how they started out, but I guess that’s what they have to do to stay in the business. Slowly I’m catching onto the new stuff, such as Da Endorphine, August Band, Clash, Patato, etc. Surprisingly, these are all Grammy artists. As a kid, I was totally biased and listened to only RS artists. (If you don’t understand the Grammy VS RS thing, don’t worry about it.)
Thai dramas, I just started to catch onto it as well after probably a few years without it. Ken Theeradeth is an amazing actor! He totally stole my heart and brought it back to Thailand. Korean dramas are great. Being able to bring laughters and bring tears, but it’s nothing like Thai dramas. When I watch Thai drama, it gives me a tug at the heart during the sad and the happy scenes. I could never get that kind of affect with any other dramas (Korean, Japanese, American, etc).
So, in conclusion, I’m so glad I came back to the Thai industry. Welcoming as always!
Our beautiful days of yore might simply pass
Because those times we were together were spent in loneliness
But even if those times were over,
We still do hope that our love still stay the same
We expect too much so we get lost
Time will change things, even this love in which we’ve always long for
And one day, time will also change me into someone new
Somehow, I’m just a fool
somehow, I’m just alone
somehow, I just need us both who has gone
somehow I’m just an ordinary man
An ordinary man who cannot fathom love
Love that is so profound
We used to think that the two of use to understand love
And we tried to act as if we were sure that we could hold on
we made a promise not to own eachother but always stand for eachother
But love makes everything so hard
We expect too much so we get lost
And time will change things, even this love
Then…it will fade away won’t it?
Then when will I forget?
Then who is to bare all the pain?
Love is where happiness come from
And love also takes it away
I cannot understand, somebody, please tell me what love is…
It’s been a full year since the death of p’Big Panrawat of D2B. I remember that night I heard the news. I was sitting cross leg on the couch browsing the web past midnight. Lek IMed me and very politely told me the news as if she was being careful in choosing her words. I smiled when I saw her name appear but as I read what she wrote, my heart stopped and I held my breath for a moment. “Muddie, I don’t know if you’ve heard. Big passed away earlier today…”
I didn’t know how to take it. The news was fresh and had not yet been made reality in my mind. As I absorbed it, my heart felt heavy and the tears flowed out.
Since then, I don’t know why, but I for a while, I didn’t look at his pictures and listen to anything that reminded me of him or of D2B. I got over that and realized that I missed them too much.
This was such a tragedy, and my best wishes goes out to his parents who lost their only child. May they have the passion to still live their life to the fullest, as I’m sure this is what Panrawat would have wanted of his parents.
Remember over 5 years ago, when we all got together and folded as many cranes as we could to have a miracle happen? Let’s not forget that our wishes did come true and that a miracle did take place. Panrawat was able to remain with us an additional 4 years. Let’s not think that our wishes, prayers, and hopes went unanswered. Panrawat may have never woken up from his coma after all these years, but we were able to continue to have him with us.
What did you do with your miracle cranes you folded with love and hope for p’Big? ^_^ I know that thousands or even millions were used to help spread peace in South Thailand when there were many tragedies occurring. I was never able to send my thousand cranes I folded to his parents as I had wanted. Instead, I sent them to friends and family. As these cranes were folded with my all my heart and soul, I wanted these cranes to be sent off as if flying to send off hope and love to everyone I cared for.
Today would have been your 26th birthday. I’m sadden that you’re not here to celebrate this day with us, but I’m glad you’re no longer suffering. Thank you so much for being born into this world and touching everyone’s soul the way you did. Thank you for placing hope and making us see that miracles do exist.
It’s been a full year since the death of p’Big Panrawat of D2B. I remember that night I heard the news. I was sitting cross leg on the couch browsing the web past midnight. Lek IMed me and very politely told me the news as if she was being careful in choosing her words. I smiled when I saw her name appear but as I read what she wrote, my heart stopped and I held my breath for a moment. “Muddie, I don’t know if you’ve heard. Big passed away earlier today…”
